


Show me your scars and I will show you mine

by Catsarecutebutaliens



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Basically Tony is sad and has mental health issues but gets better, Descriptions of Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Getting Back Together, Graphic Description, Happy Ending, Healing, Hospitals, Hurt, I promise, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Infinity War doesn't happen because fuck you that's why, Mental Health Issues, Pepperony - Freeform, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Tony Stark Has Issues, getting better, kind of, kind of a fix it I guess, morgan stark - Freeform, that boy finally gets a therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 12:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsarecutebutaliens/pseuds/Catsarecutebutaliens
Summary: The next time he wakes up the only thing he can feel is the leather on his wrists.





	Show me your scars and I will show you mine

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for Self Harm.
> 
> I wrote this as a coping mechanism, please be careful if you get triggered by these topics. Have a long look at the tags before you start reading.

When he woke up in the hospital bed, bruised and battered with the worst headache he has ever had, he was alone. It took Tony some time to remember all that had happened, and when he did, he wished he hadn't.   
The sterile white stung in his eyes almost as much as the tears he was unable to cry. 

Rhodey was alive and that was the only good news he received the next days. His body would heal, the doctors told him, not that he cared anymore. As long as he could still work and help his friend, he would be fine. He wouldn't be.

Tony left the hospital after one week without a single visitor, excluding the doctors and nurses who put him back together or what was left of him anyway. They tried to set him up with a therapist, who he told to fuck off the moment she set foot in his room. She left after he quite literally threw money at her face. An hour late he wished she had stayed.

Changing from one prison to another, he spent the next five days working. Pills made the pain manageable and his heart numb, while he went three days without food or sleep. When he collapsed and blacked out on the floor of his workshop, the half-finished project laying next to him, he wished himself back to the hospital bed.

Rhodey was happy about the braces, not that it was a surprise.  
"Thank you, Tony," he said, barely able to hold himself upright.  
Tony smiled and left ten minutes later. The voice in his head became smaller as soon as he saw the blood dripping into the sink.

Weeks went by but he stood still. Sometimes, he could see her. She talked to Rhodey, smiled, touched him, her gaze soft and compassionate. She never saw him, how could she? He saw away as soon as she left and turned off the monitor.

There isn't enough space on his arms anymore so he now watches the blood going down the shower drain. Hearing it drop from his thighs is the loudest sound in the world.

After five months he was back in the hospital bed, his head hurt as much as it did the last time, now because he wanted it to. Tony enjoyed the feeling of ragged and cut skin under his fingertips more than he should. When they sent her again, he watches the blood blossom red on the sheets and smiles sadly at her frozen face. The next time he wakes up the only thing he can feel is the leather on his wrists. 

It took her six months to talk to him, though it was his own fault. Everything is, he told her, back in his own personal hell. Tony thought he was better now, the scars were healing. Maybe he was, too. She looked sad when she sat down next to him, hands inches away from his. As she took them, the voice was gone for the first time since it started screaming. It came back as soon as she left.

________

Sometimes he doesn't want to get up, but he does anyway. Not because he has to or needs to. He gets up because if he didn't he would never do so again. When his fingertips brush over his skin this time, it doesn't sting. When he wakes up the next morning, he looks forward to coffee.

Rhodey comes to visit, now that he can walk on his own. She is still with him, arms holding herself because no one else will. He smiles as he sees her and when he leaves, she stays. 

Nine months and he wakes up because she does. It's her fingertips grazing the scars and her voice which tells him to take his pills. They don't need to hold themselves anymore, they are holding each other. He can't remember what the voice sounded like. Metal clings as smashes the blades over and over and over again until nothing is left. 

He is the one to call first. The phone rings and rings and rings and Tony can't hear it. He is flying again, Pepper laughing in his ear. Jarvis talks him through the landing, his body slipping into the familiar movements. He feels sorry for destroying Friday, she told him it was the right thing to do. When he sees the missed call he destroys the phone as well.

Three years later and she is in the hospital bed with him right by her side. Everyone can see the scars on his arms and the happiness in his eyes as he gets to hold his daughter for the very first time. They leave the bed behind for good, a promise to never come back said out loud.

Tony tells her the stories when she asks, years later and with a sad smile on his lips. Pepper's arm is around him and when he talks about these times he doesn't recognize himself. His daughter cries the tears he couldn't.

He comes back after a long time. He seems happier now, they all do. And although he hears his voice again, the other one stays quiet. Tony tells him about it, one night because he thinks he should know. 

Even though his skin is lighter, their scars look the same.


End file.
